my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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