this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
