You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
