is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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