Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
