I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
wow bdsm is so cute
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
