my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
