Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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