Where did you get a picture of my penis
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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