Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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