Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize