Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
