i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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