You're so nebulous sometimes
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
