yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
