did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
