I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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