tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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