I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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