It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
North Korea, Best Korea!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize