sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
