You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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