The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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