Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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