I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
