Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
