ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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