You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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