she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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