he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
