dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
