The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
