I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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