I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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