You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
