So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize