she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize