Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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