id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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