please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
