can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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