4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
