Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
