i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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