Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
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i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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