Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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