oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
