...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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