He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
