We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
