did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
