i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
