I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
