you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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