on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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