you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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