Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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