dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
