I got chris browned last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's no shave November. This is our time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize