I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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