Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
