How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
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Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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