I CAN MOONWALK!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
