I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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