Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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