So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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