Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
