omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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