We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
